I did it. I went back “home” again.

This afternoon we drove into Fair Lawn and down our old street. It looked pretty much the same as it did 5 months ago, except for the new curtains on “our” windows. And “our” garbage cans were on the opposite side of the house. And of course those weren’t our cars in the driveway.

We saw that our former next-door neighbor was home, so we knocked on the door to say hello. Tina was delighted to see us again and told us that she loved the people we had sold the house to; not only have she and Jessica become friends, but their little daughters (who just happen to be the same age) have become friends as well.

“Why don’t you go over there and take a look?” she suggested. “They’ve painted, and changed it enough that you won’t feel like you’re seeing your old rooms. I bet it will make you feel more able to move on.”

I hesitated, but then something told me that it was the right thing to do. So I walked on over and knocked on the door. Jessica opened it, obviously trying to remember why I looked familiar, and then smiled in recognition. She invited us in…

And darned if it didn’t look almost totally different. Yes, it had the same outside but the inside definitely belonged to a young couple with a 2 year old. I was surprised to feel such relief, and also such strangeness as Jessica and I stood on the opposite sides of where we had been last spring when this house had been our home, and they were the visitors.

Now I know that I can re-visit these neighborhood memories without feeling like I still have a foot stuck in that world.

Thanks, Tina!

Leave a Reply