For the last 6 years, the month of May has been a roller-coaster for me.

It’s the month Roy and I got married. It’s the month my father died. It’s the month my last book was released. It’s the month my mother died. It’s the month we moved out west.

There was this awful song back in the 70’s that had a line in it something like, “My friend, it’s hard to die, when the birds are singing in the sky.” For some reason my mother liked that song and I could never understand why. It seemed so morbid for a pop song. And why would she enjoy lyrics about leaving in the Spring – the time when everything is being born? It shouldn’t have surprised me that that’s the time she chose to go. I remember picking up a handful of incredibly soft, pink cherry blossoms from under the tree outside her hospital room and thinking, “Now I understand. Life goes on.”

So May is full of tenderness for me. Life and death are always interwoven, but this is when I feel it most acutely. Celebrate what you have, while you have it.

2 Responses to "The Month of Ups and Downs"

  1. Arlene

    May 6, 2008

    Seasons in the Sun! That’s the name of the song – took me a minute to run all the lyrics through my head. May is always an interesting month for me as well. My mother died in May too. Now it’s been almost twenty years, but on certain days when a memory drifts into my mind, I’m still saddened by my loss. But then I see the lilacs that bloom and remember how it was her favorite flower and how she loved Spring, so yes, I celebrate the month, even when I’m a little sad. I had a dear friend who was 86 years old, and she told me that you never get over missing your mother. I think she was right.

  2. sunny

    May 6, 2008

    Arlene, thank you. 🙂
    You put it perfectly and it helps to know that others understand.

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